Hard To Digest

When Crystal was little, I took her and her brother to Swiss Chalet. I ordered a kid's chicken dinner for each of them. Crystal was a very picky eater and I had to constantly encourage her to eat more. The kid's meal at Swiss Chalet comes with a kid-sized sundae so I used that, "C'mon Crystal, just three more bites and you can have some ice cream." It worked. And she didn't know her numbers yet so I actually tricked her into "three more bites" a couple of times.

Finally, I deemed that she had eaten enough and I let the waitress clear her plate away. The waitress said, "You did really well. Would you like your ice cream sundae?"

Crystal's little bottom lip started to quiver and a huge tear welled up in one eye and slowly slid down one cheek and she said, "I want my ice cream now."

Crystal was still too young to understand the concept of the days of the week; however, she did know the word "someday" and to her "someday" meant any day that was not "right now".

Note: I was in the doctor's office one day leafing through an old copy of Reader's Digest and what do I find? My story. This story. Someone else got paid for my experience. Grrr! Oh well, she got the money for the story. I have Crystal and the many memories we have together. I win!

KF See I Told You I Was Evil

I have a number of friends (and fellow improvisors) who claim to be evil. Let me tell you my tale:

The Perfect Man and I went to KFC the other night. We ordered a combo deal and told the counter clerk we didn't want the gravy that came with it.

As she was packing our order, she remembered what we had said and she turned to the window behind her and said, "I don't need no gravy".

We took our food and as we exited the building, I looked up at The Perfect Man and deadpan said, "And that is why she works here and I work at the place where she visits her children".

EVIL. I AM EVIL, I SAY!!!

Blood Blank

I work in the legal department of a child welfare agency and yesterday we were confronted with the problem of a family who would not allow a blood transfusion for their baby because it went against their religion.

My problem with the whole thing is our government tells us that we have the right to practice our religion but then they put into place a system that allows someone to intervene in the event they don't agree with a tenet of that religion.

But then The Perfect Man pointed out that there is no problem with anyone practicing their religion and living by their beliefs so long as those beliefs do not impact the life or well-being of anyone else.

I guess.

An innocent baby is not able to make an informed decision.

The decision being made for that baby by the parents would condemn that baby to death, but his or her immortal soul would have a chance on the "other side".

The decision being made for that baby by "us" would condemn the immortal soul of that baby, but would allow the baby to live this life.

I don't believe in god, heaven or religion of any sort. But I do believe in allowing others to believe in what they believe in.

But then, I also cannot sit idly by and see a child die needlessly.

Grrrrr! I hate seeing both sides.

Mama's Magic Eyes

When I was young, it didn't matter what I did wrong in our neighbourhood, my mom found out about it. Even the simplest little thing. I'd be greeted with "Kimberly, how many times have I told you not to ......". Whenever I asked how she knew, she told me she had magic eyes and could see me wherever I was.

One of the rules I grew up with was that we always came home after school and then we could go to a friend's house to play. One day, I decided to just go to my friend's house. I felt a twinge of guilt because this was a house I didn't normally go to and it was two whole blocks away from my house....but I comforted myself with the knowledge that my mom could just use her magic eyes and find me and know I was okay.

Please believe me. I was not being smart or sarcastic or "getting back" at my mom. I was too young and hadn't yet honed that particular skill set yet. No, I truly, truly believed that my mother would know where I was.

Of course, she didn't. And she was furious with me when I walked in the door for dinner. Furious until I said those words, "But mom, why didn' t you use your magic eyes?"

And so ended the illusion. Mom fessed up. It was the neighbours who had been spilling the beans on me all along. Damn, nosy neighbours!

Flat On My Back -- But Not In The Good Way

I know there have been no posts in a while. I've been very much under the weather. I'm at work today, but everyone (including my tummy) is telling me to go home. If I could figure out a way to bring a washroom stall with me, I'd listen.

I hope to be back soon so keep checking in.

Turn That Frown Upside Down

An incredibly excited and emotional woman won the trip to Cuba. No, it wasn't me.

In order to make myself feel better, I started mentally reviewing the things I'm thankful for and I don't have a thing to be disappointed about in this life. In fact, I am one of the luckiest people I know.

Of course, Cuba would have been nice........

Take Your Radio to Cuba

A couple of weeks ago, I registered with a local radio station, K-Lite FM, for a cash and trips contest.

Today they called my name at 9:00 am. One of my co-workers tracked me down in the training room, and another co-worker came and got me. I called the station and -- WHAM -- I won $102.90 (K-Lite is heard on 102.9).

The best part is I'm now qualified to win a trip to Cuba. The draw takes place on Monday morning at 8:15 am (I have a one in 21 chance of winning). I'll keep you posted!

As a side note -- I took my two co-workers out to lunch. Thanks guys!

As a second side note -- another of my co-workers actually won the trip (to the Dominican) last Monday.

You Say Potato

When I was in grade one, my parents bought a camping trailer. After school on a Friday, we packed up the car and we headed off for a fun-filled weekend of camping. I caught my first fish that weekend. On Sunday, we packed the car back up and headed home; exhausted, but happy.

My teacher had us all tell each other what we did on the weekend. When my turn arrived, this exchange took place (more or less):

Me: We took our new trailer [from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada] to California for the weekend.

Teacher: You took your trailer where?

Me: California.

Teacher: I don't think that's possible, Kimberly. California is too far away.

Me: No it's not. That's where we went.

The teacher allowed me to continue my tale and I told everyone about my fish.

She was perplexed though. Before that day, I was not generally known to tell "stories" so she called my mom. She asked my mom why on earth I would be insisting tha we had driven to California for the weekend. Mom started laughing hysterically.

"We didn't go to California for the weekend. We went to Caledonia."

I am pleased to introduce -- My Grandbaby

Can you see his or her ear? He or she looks just like me, don't you think?

No Smoking, Please

I quit smoking 9 years ago today.

Premature Evacuation

In a post called Life? With Harry, I told you all about our ghost and said that he had "moved on".
I think I was premature in my assessment.

One night after that post, The Perfect Man and I were home watching television. Our cat Winnie was on the couch with The Perfect Man and Stealer was stretched out on the floor. Winnie suddenly sat upright like he was....er....spooked. He bolted off the couch and almost ran into Stealer, which spooked Stealer.

Just as all of this was playing out, The Perfect Man said, "Hey, where did that cold draft come from? Did you feel it?"

Welcome home, Harry!