Joss Whedon on "Violence Against Women" a MUST read

Thank you to Craig for sharing this.

Click here for an incredible message from Joss Whedon.

The Door Closes -- Finally

Once upon a time I had two best friends, Michelle and Kellie. They were first friends of the Adult and I met them through him.

I lost them in the divorce. It always bothered me that I lost them. I just never understood. I never would have dreamed of putting them, or trying to put them, in the middle. I never, ever would have bad-mouthed The Adult. I bad-mouth him all the time, but I had the courtesy and common-sense of not doing it with his friends. (If any of his friends are reading this, you do so by your own choice. This is my blog and I'll say anything I want in here. Same goes for the Adult, should you find your way in here.)

Anyway, I found out that The Adult told them lies. Seems the fact that he was an immature, thoughtless jerk who blamed me for my own childhood sexual abuse wasn't enough of a reason for us to get a divorce. I confronted him about the lies and reminded him why I asked for a divorce (without actually using the words " immature" or thoughtless jerk". He admitted that he was "probably wrong" about the lies he told and then made the statement that vindicates my calling him "The Adult" -- "if you wouldn't have broken us up when you did, I probably would have soon". You go man and while you're at it, why don't you tell your boss, "You can't fire me, I quit". Ass!

So, back to Kellie and Michelle. I wrote to them both recently. I swallowed my pride and I poured out my heart and soul. I said things that humiliated me; things I had only spoken of to The Perfect Man and in my journal.

I wasn't expecting an immediate reunion or apologies or anything but I also wasn't expecting to be completely ignored. Well, I wasn't actually completely ignored.....they each sent me a message. Kellie's was directed to me. Michelle's was directed to Crystal but the message to me was very, very clear. I think they must have spoken to each other first, because they said basically the same thing. That's right ladies, just because you sent the messages 12 hours apart doesn't mean you fooled me. Anyway, the message was very deliberate in ignoring the issue and simply said they would be there for Crystal and the baby. Must have taken hours to figure out how to come off sounding so non-chalant.

Why do I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a school yard?

I know I sound bitter, but I'm really just having fun with this -- now. They hurt me terribly in the past. But that's where it is. It's been over four years since I've seen either one of them. I no longer miss them. There's nothing they can offer me that would enrich my life. I put in my letter that I wasn't really expecting anything to change but in a perfect world they would realize how little I deserved their contempt. In hindsight, I probably never should have written the letter because if they had acted on it, I'm not sure the continued friendship would have worked.

I've been trying to figure out why I actually wrote the letter. Did I really want them back as friends? Part of me did, I guess. But I think the biggest reason I wrote that letter was simply to have my say. They never gave me that chance and I took it when an opportunity presented itself. If my letter had opened a diolgue, I don't know what would have happened. I'm almost afraid now to find out. This really is the only way things could have turned out. Today, I sent them both a note and thanked them for the closure. And I meant it. I don't have to stew about what I could have said or done to get them "back". I said it. They refused to listen. As The Perfect Man says, "their loss". I agree.

Good-bye Michelle and Kellie. It was fun while it was appropriate.

I am content.